Kategoriarkiv: 2 JOKES

Golfing accident

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. ‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me, she told him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?

Feels great, he replied; but I still think my thumb’s broken!

A contribution from Hans the footdoc

Pärleporten

Pärleporten

En busschaufför och en präst stod utanför pärleporten. Sankte Per släppte in chauffören men prästen nekades tillträde.-Det var det värsta, utbrast prästen. Skulle en gudsman nekas inträde till paradiset  medan en oborstad busschaufför få komma in.

Det har sina orsaker, sa Per. Dina predikningar var oengagerade och tråkiga och församlingen halvsov hela tiden. Men när han körde sin buss bad alla till Gud.

En rolig en igen från  Olemand

Missing bucks…

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has stolen ten million
bucks from him.

The bookkeeper is deaf. It was the reason he got the job in the first
place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to
hear anything that he’d ever have to testify about in court. When the
Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million
bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: ”Where is the $10 million bucks you
embezzled from me?”

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the $10
million bucks is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: ”I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The attorney tells the Godfather: ”He says he doesn’t know what you’re
talking about.”

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper’s temple, cocks it, and says: ”Ask him again!”

The attorney signs to the underling: ”He’ll kill you for sure if you
don’t tell him!”

The bookkeeper signs back: ”Ok! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in
Queens!”

The Godfather asks the attorney: ”Well, what’d he say?”

The attorney replies: ”He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

 

Bonus

If you dont know the difference between guts and balls