Etikettarkiv: blonde

The seven-hundred-ten ¤¤¤

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a ”seven-hundred-ten”.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, ’What is a seven-hundred- ten?’

She replied, ’You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked ’is there a 710 on this car?’.

She pointed and said, ’Of course, its right there.’ the mechanic fainted

If you’re not sure what a 710 is

 

 

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From Anders in Viken

Watch also The perfect car

THE BLONDE MORTICIAN

A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ’I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly…

She says to the mortician, ’Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

’There’s no charge,’ she says.

’No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

’Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ’it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

’So I just switched the heads.’

(BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING!!!)

A contribution from my friend Grady in NC

AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO ¤¤¤

 An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. 

She said, ’I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’. 

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, ’Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’ 

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed…’YES! YES! I WON, I WON!’

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

 The dealer and players stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, ’What did she roll?’

The other answered, ’I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’

MORAL OF THE STORY –

Not all Irish are drunks,

not all blondes are dumb,

but all men…are men.

 Another goody from Lawrence ( not from Arabia..)