Etikettarkiv: golfjoke

Golf and age

Published first time 20110502

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,

‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’

I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.’

‘Well,’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?’

‘Who said my Dad’s dead?’

The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?’

‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the old Italian golfer. ‘In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s Italian and he’s a golfer, too.’

‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?’

‘Who said my grandpa’s dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’

‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’

‘No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old man want to get married?’

‘Who said he wanted to?’

A contribution from Paul ( the golfer)  from Provence

Jokes for golfers ¤¤¤

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says,
”Joe, we both loved golf all our lives, and we played golf on Saturdays together
for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you get to Heaven, somehow
you must let me know if there’s golf there.”

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed,” Mike, you’ve been my best friend for
many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a
blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,
”Mike–Mike. ”
”Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. ”Who is it?”
”Mike–it’s me, Joe.”
”You’re not Joe. Joe just died.”
”I’m telling you, it’s me, Joe,” insists the voice.”
”Joe! Where are you?”

”In heaven”, replies Joe. ”I have some really good news and a little bad news.”
”Tell me the good news first,” says Mike.
”The good news,” Joe says,” is that there’s golf in heaven. Better yet, all of our
old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again.
Better still, it’s always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all,
we can play golf all we want, and we never get tired.”

That’s fantastic,” says Mike. ”It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?
”You’ve been booked to play this Saturday.”