{"id":11603,"date":"2011-09-24T08:56:27","date_gmt":"2011-09-24T06:56:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=11603"},"modified":"2011-09-24T08:56:27","modified_gmt":"2011-09-24T06:56:27","slug":"step-on-duck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/step-on-duck\/","title":{"rendered":"Do not step on the duck  \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre>Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.\u00a0\n\nWhen they get there, St. Peter says,\u00a0\n\n'We only have one rule here in heaven:\u00a0\nDon't step on the ducks!'\n\nSo they enter heaven, and sure enough,\u00a0\nThere are ducks all over the place.\u00a0\n\nIt is almost impossible not to step on a duck,\u00a0\nAnd although they try their best to avoid them,\u00a0\nThe first woman accidentally steps on one.\n\nAlong comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.\u00a0\nSt. Peter chains them together and says,\u00a0\n\n'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to\u00a0\nSpend eternity chained to this ugly man!'\u00a0\n\nThe next day,\u00a0\nThe second woman steps accidentally on a duck\u00a0\nAnd along comes St. Peter,\u00a0\nWho doesn't miss a thing with him is another extremely ugly man.\u00a0\nHe chains them together\u00a0\nWith the same admonishment as for the first woman.\n\nThe third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained\u00a0\nFor all eternity to an ugly man, is very,\u00a0VERY careful where she steps.\n\nShe manages to go months\u00a0without stepping on any ducks,\u00a0\nBut\u00a0 one day St.Peter comes up to her\u00a0\nWith the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on\u00a0\n.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.<\/pre>\n<p align=\"LEFT\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/duckm.jpe\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-11601\" title=\"duckm\" src=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/duckm-185x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"185\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<pre>St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.\nThe happy woman says,\u00a0\n'I wonder what I did to deserve being\u00a0\nChained to you for all of eternity?'\n\nThe guy says,\u00a0\n'I don't know about you,\u00a0\nBut I stepped on a Duck.<\/pre>\n<p align=\"LEFT\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p align=\"LEFT\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/duckw.jpe\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-11600\" title=\"duckw\" src=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/duckw-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>A contribution from Anders in Viken<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.\u00a0 When they get there, St. Peter says,\u00a0 &#8217;We only have one rule here in heaven:\u00a0 Don&#8217;t step on the ducks!&#8217; So they enter heaven, and sure enough,\u00a0 There are ducks all over the place.\u00a0 It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[573,900,1926],"class_list":["post-11603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-duck","tag-heaven","tag-st-peter"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-319","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":20417,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-lie-clock\/","url_meta":{"origin":11603,"position":0},"title":"The Lie-Clock","author":"admin","date":"2012-10-18","format":false,"excerpt":"A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14916,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/queendolly-go-to-heaven\/","url_meta":{"origin":11603,"position":1},"title":"Queen &amp; Dolly go to heaven \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2013-01-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Queen\u00a0 Elizabeth and \u00a0\u00a0Dolly\u00a0 Parton die\u00a0 on the same day and they both\u00a0 go \u00a0before\u00a0 an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to\u00a0 Heaven. Unfortunately,\u00a0 there's only one space left that\u00a0 day ~ so\u00a0 the Angel must decide which of\u00a0 them\u00a0gets\u00a0 in. The\u00a0 Angel asks Dolly if there's\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/ATT00001-1-243x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13403,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/rain-on-your-parade\/","url_meta":{"origin":11603,"position":2},"title":"Rain on your parade  \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-02-20","format":false,"excerpt":"This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable. \u00a0 A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12289,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/pollution-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","url_meta":{"origin":11603,"position":3},"title":"Pollution  \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-11-25","format":false,"excerpt":"Jesus and Saint Paul Jesus and Saint Paul are sitting in Heaven, talking about the pollution on Earth and wondering what can be done about mankind\u2019s filthy ways. Jesus says he\u2019s going to pop down to\u00a0Durban to see the situation for himself, and Paul agrees to join him. When they\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3734,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/two-ladies-in-heaven\/","url_meta":{"origin":11603,"position":4},"title":"Two ladies in heaven","author":"bengt39","date":"2017-07-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st\u00a0 woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd\u00a0 woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die? 1st\u00a0 woman: I froze to death. 2nd\u00a0 woman: How horrible! 1st\u00a0 woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16926,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/senior-sex-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","url_meta":{"origin":11603,"position":5},"title":"SENIOR SEX","author":"admin","date":"2013-01-05","format":false,"excerpt":"This is too\u00a0 funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over\u00a0 and asks his wife, \"Do you remember the first time we had\u00a0 sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the\u00a0 village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and\u00a0 I made love to you.\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11603"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11603\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}