ursprungligen publicerad 2014<\/p>\n
En bonde st\u00e5r och passar en stor flock f\u00e5r, som betar p\u00e5 fj\u00e4llet. D\u00e5 kommer pl\u00f6tsligt en splitter ny BMV p\u00e5 v\u00e4gen nedanf\u00f6r. En ung man i Broni kostym, Gucci skor, Ray Ban solglas\u00f6gon och YSL-slips sticker ut huvudet ur bilen och ropar till bonden: Fr\u00e5n broder Lars<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ursprungligen publicerad 2014 En bonde st\u00e5r och passar en stor flock f\u00e5r, som betar p\u00e5 fj\u00e4llet. D\u00e5 kommer pl\u00f6tsligt en splitter ny BMV p\u00e5 v\u00e4gen nedanf\u00f6r. En ung man i Broni kostym, Gucci skor, Ray Ban solglas\u00f6gon och YSL-slips sticker ut huvudet ur bilen och ropar till bonden: Om jag r\u00e4knar ut hur m\u00e5nga f\u00e5r […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[302,642,1139],"class_list":["post-13797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-bonde","tag-far","tag-konsult"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-3Ax","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19010,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/4-lektioner-i-organisationsstrategi\/","url_meta":{"origin":13797,"position":0},"title":"4 LEKTIONER i ORGANISATIONSSTRATEGI","author":"admin","date":"2013-12-29","format":false,"excerpt":"LEKTION 1 En man g\u00e5r in i duschen samtidigt som hans hustru kommer ut d\u00e4rifr\u00e5n. I samma stund ringer det p\u00e5 d\u00f6rren och hustrun g\u00e5r och \u00f6ppnar ikl\u00e4dd endast en handduk. I d\u00f6rren st\u00e5r grannen. Han erbjuder henne 10 000 kronor om hon\u00a0l\u00e5ter handduken falla till golvet... Utan att tveka\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22914,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/pisa-lite-om-bakgrunden\/","url_meta":{"origin":13797,"position":1},"title":"PISA- RESUlTATEN lite om bakgrunden","author":"admin","date":"2015-03-26","format":false,"excerpt":"UTVECKLINGEN AV GRUNDSKOLANS MATEMATIK F\u00d6RRA \u00c5RHUNDRADET LADE GRUNDEN F\u00d6R PISA resultaten p\u00e5 2000-talet \u00c5r 1950: En bonde s\u00e4ljer en s\u00e4ck potatis f\u00f6r 20 kr. Framst\u00e4llningskostnaderna \u00e4r 4\/5 av priset. Hur stor \u00e4r vinsten? \u00c5r 1960: En bonde s\u00e4ljer en s\u00e4ck potatis f\u00f6r 20 kr. Framst\u00e4llningskostnaden \u00e4r 16 kr. Var sn\u00e4ll\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20434,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/satta-fart-pa-ekonomin\/","url_meta":{"origin":13797,"position":2},"title":"S\u00e4tta fart p\u00e5 ekonomin","author":"admin","date":"2014-10-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Det var en turist som klev in p\u00e5 hotellet i en liten by. Turisten l\u00e4gger 1 000 kronor p\u00e5 receptionsdisken och ber att f\u00e5 ta en titt p\u00e5 rummen innan han best\u00e4mmer sig f\u00f6r att bo p\u00e5 hotellet. Under tiden turisten inspekterar alla rum tar hotelldirekt\u00f6ren tusenlappen och skyndar iv\u00e4g\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/mail.google.com\/mail\/e\/360","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":21035,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/bondgirls-now-and-then\/","url_meta":{"origin":13797,"position":3},"title":"BONDGIRLS now and then","author":"admin","date":"2014-11-25","format":false,"excerpt":"1. Honey Ryder, \"Dr. No\" (1962) Played by Ursula Andress. \u00a0 2. Sylvia Trench, \"Dr. No\" (1962) and \"From Russia With Love\" (1963) Played by Eunice Gayson. \u00a0 3. Tatiana Romanova, \"From Russia with Love\" (1963) Played by Daniela Bianchi. \u00a0 4. Jill Masterson, \"Goldfinger\" (1964) Played by Shirley Eaton.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"no","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/no.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/no.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/no.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3584,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/barn-har-stenkoll\/","url_meta":{"origin":13797,"position":4},"title":"BARN HAR STENKOLL \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2009-11-11","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0Barn om djur \u00a0Inne i grisen finns det korvar och skinkor. Och i rumpan p\u00e5 den sitter syltan och v\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 att bli upp\u00e4ten.\u00a0 LARS 6 \u00c5R \u00a0Kvinnodjur \u00e4r duktigare \u00e4n m\u00e4nnen. De g\u00f6r mj\u00f6lk och ungar. Och s\u00e5 kan de b\u00e5de v\u00e4rpa och ryta.\u00a0\u00a0 KATJA 6 \u00c5R \u00a0En del\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20290,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/george-w-bush\/","url_meta":{"origin":13797,"position":5},"title":"George W Bush","author":"admin","date":"2014-09-23","format":false,"excerpt":"George W Bush och Tony Blair st\u00e5r i en bar. En g\u00e4st kommer bort och fr\u00e5gar vad dom pratat om. \"-\u00c5\u00e5\u00e5, vi l\u00e4gger planer f\u00f6r 3:e v\u00e4rldskriget\" s\u00e4ger Bush. \"-\u00c5 j\u00e4klar\" s\u00e4ger g\u00e4sten. \"Hur t\u00e4nker ni g\u00f6ra?\" \"-Vi t\u00e4nker d\u00f6da 140.000 muslimer och en IT-konsult\" s\u00e4ger Bush. 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\nOm jag r\u00e4knar ut hur m\u00e5nga f\u00e5r du har p\u00e5 betet, kan jag ta med mig ett av f\u00e5ren d\u00e5?
\nBonden tittar p\u00e5 killen och p\u00e5 den spridda flocken med f\u00e5r och svarar:
\nDet verkar rimligt. Okej f\u00f6r mej.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\nKillen k\u00f6r fram BMW:n till bonden och tar fram en Dell Notebook, sl\u00e4nger upp den p\u00e5 motorhuven och \u00f6ppnar laptopen. Med hj\u00e4lp av Nokias senaste 3G-telefon kopplar han upp sig mot en Nasasida p\u00e5 Internet. Han kontaktar ett GPS-satellitnavigationssystem, h\u00e4mtar den exakta positionen och matar in den i en annan Nasasatellit. Denna skannar betesomr\u00e5det med ultrah\u00f6guppl\u00f6sningskamera. S\u00e5 \u00f6ppnar han den digitala bilden i Adobe Photoshop och exporterar den till ett annat st\u00e4lle p\u00e5 Internet, Image Processing Facility i Hamburg. Inom n\u00e5gra sekunder f\u00e5 han ett e-postsvar i retur till sin Palm Pilot och d\u00e4r st\u00e5r det: Picture processed and data stored.
\nS\u00e5 loggar han in p\u00e5 en MS-SQL databas via ODBC och kopplar upp ett Exceldokument med flera hundra avancerade formler. N\u00e4r detta \u00e4r gjort k\u00f6r han alla data genom e-posten till en Xircom och p\u00e5 ett \u00f6gonblick f\u00e5r han respons. Avslutningsvis skriver han ut en flersidig fyrf\u00e4rgsrapport p\u00e5 sin miniatyr-hitech HP Color Laser Jet och kastar ett \u00f6ga p\u00e5 sista sidan:
\nDu har exakt 1586 djur, s\u00e4ger han.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\nFaan, det st\u00e4mmer. Du kan ta med ett av f\u00e5ren.
\nS\u00e5 tittar han p\u00e5 killen som g\u00e5r runt f\u00f6r att v\u00e4lja ut ett f\u00e5r. Han f\u00e5r jobba lite f\u00f6r att f\u00e5 ner vinsten i bagageluckan p\u00e5 BMW:n.
\nD\u00e5 s\u00e4ger bonden:
\nDu, om jag kan s\u00e4ga exakt vad du jobbar med, kan jag d\u00e5 f\u00e5 tillbaka f\u00e5ret?
\nKillen t\u00e4nker en stund och s\u00e4ger sen att det verkar fair och okej.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\nDu \u00e4r konsult, s\u00e4ger bonden.
\nSt\u00e4mmer s\u00e4ger killen. Hur sjuttsingen kunde du veta det?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\nDet var inga problem. Du kom hit utan att n\u00e5gon hade bett dej. Sedan skulle du ha betalt f\u00f6r n\u00e5got, som jag redan visste. Du erbj\u00f6d dej att jobba med en fr\u00e5ga som ingen hade st\u00e4llt. Dessutom vet du inte ett skit om den h\u00e4r branschen, s\u00e5 jag vore tacksam om du ville \u00f6ppna bagageluckan och ge tillbaka min hund.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n