{"id":15293,"date":"2012-08-29T06:58:55","date_gmt":"2012-08-29T04:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=15293"},"modified":"2019-03-21T11:22:30","modified_gmt":"2019-03-21T10:22:30","slug":"the-pirate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-pirate\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pirate"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A pirate walked into a bar, and the publican said,<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”What do you mean?” said the pirate, ”I feel fine.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”Well,” said the pirate, ”We were in a battle, and I got hit with a <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

The publican replied, ”Well, OK, but what about that hook?\u00a0What happened to your hand?”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

The pirate explained, ”We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>but I’m fine, really.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”What about that eye patch?”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”Oh,” said the pirate, ”One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”You’re kidding,” said the publican.\u00a0”You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird shit.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

”I know, but it was my first day with the hook.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

A contribution from Paul in Provence<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A pirate walked into a bar, and the publican said, ”Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” ”What do you mean?” said the pirate, ”I feel fine.” ”What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” ”Well,” said the pirate, ”We were in a battle, and I got […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[1574],"class_list":["post-15293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-piraten"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-3YF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14482,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/piraten-och-doktorn\/","url_meta":{"origin":15293,"position":0},"title":"Piraten och doktorn","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-04-26","format":false,"excerpt":"En piratenhistoria ber\u00e4ttad av prof Charlotte Erlandsson p\u00e5 Anders p\u00e5gars jubileumssymposium i Lund Bilden i videon \u00e4r en tavla m\u00e5lad av Karin Holm\u00a0 Vik \u00d6sterlen och med p\u00e5 tavlan Teaterprofessorn Ingvar Holm\u00a0 ( ansiktet hit\u00e5t) tillsammans med Piraten till h\u00f6ger och \u00a0G\u00f6sta Vitestam prof semitiska spr\u00e5k - professorerna tog \"\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21033,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/potensen\/","url_meta":{"origin":15293,"position":1},"title":"Potensen","author":"admin","date":"2013-12-12","format":false,"excerpt":"You\u2019re in remarkable shape for a man your age,\u201d said the doctor to the 90-year-old man after the examination. \u201c1 know it,\u201d said the old gentleman. \u201cI\u2019ve really got only one complaint\u2014my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?\u201d The doctor\u2019s mouth dropped open.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18664,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/18664\/","url_meta":{"origin":15293,"position":2},"title":"The wise fisherman","author":"admin","date":"2013-11-29","format":false,"excerpt":"A guy is 85 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' He looked around and couldn't see anyone. 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The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?'\u00a0 Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Heaven","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Heaven.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Heaven.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Heaven.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16523,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/confession\/","url_meta":{"origin":15293,"position":4},"title":"Confession","author":"admin","date":"2013-01-19","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, \"Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15586,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/15586\/","url_meta":{"origin":15293,"position":5},"title":"Italian confession \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-10-12","format":false,"excerpt":"A man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.\u00a0\u00a0 When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: \"Father.. 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