{"id":15675,"date":"2017-06-07T09:14:07","date_gmt":"2017-06-07T08:14:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=15675"},"modified":"2017-06-07T15:59:08","modified_gmt":"2017-06-07T14:59:08","slug":"death-of-the-parrot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/death-of-the-parrot\/","title":{"rendered":"Death of the Parrot"},"content":{"rendered":"

At dawn the telephone rings,<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\n”Hello, Se\u00f1or Roy? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\n”Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

”Um, I am just calling to advise you, Se\u00f1or Roy, that your parrot, he is dead”.<\/span><\/p>\n

”My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Si, Se\u00f1or, that’s the one.”<\/span>”Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. <\/span><\/p>\n

What did he die from?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”From eating the rotten meat, Se\u00f1or Roy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Nobody, Se\u00f1or. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”<\/span>”Dead horse? <\/span><\/p>\n

What dead horse?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”The thoroughbred, Se\u00f1or Roy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”My prize thoroughbred is dead?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Yes, Se\u00f1or Roy, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Are you insane? What water cart?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”The one we used to put out the fire, Se\u00f1or.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”The one at your house, Se\u00f1or! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Yes, Se\u00f1or Roy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”But there’s electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”<\/span><\/p>\n

”For the funeral, Se\u00f1or Roy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

”WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”<\/span><\/p>\n

”Your wife’s, Se\u00f1or Roy. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G20\u00a0 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft.”<\/span><\/p>\n

SILENCE………..<\/span><\/p>\n

LONG SILENCE………<\/span><\/p>\n

VERY LONG SILENCE\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

”Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit.”<\/span><\/p>\n

A contribution from the golfer Paul i Provence<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At dawn the telephone rings, ”Hello, Se\u00f1or Roy? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.” ”Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?” ”Um, I am just calling to advise you, Se\u00f1or Roy, that your parrot, he is dead”. ”My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[546,2813,1520],"class_list":["post-15675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-dod","tag-golf","tag-papegoja"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-44P","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12375,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-parrot\/","url_meta":{"origin":15675,"position":0},"title":"The Parrot \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-11-28","format":false,"excerpt":"A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15821,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/another-parrot-cheap-in-price-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","url_meta":{"origin":15675,"position":1},"title":"Another talking parrot this one cheap in price … \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-11-03","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. \"Why\u00a0 so little?\" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and\u00a0 said, \"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a\u00a0 house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/par1.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17368,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/grandpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":15675,"position":2},"title":"Grandpa","author":"admin","date":"2013-04-29","format":false,"excerpt":"An 80-year-old rancher from Wyoming, goes to the Mayo clinic in Rochester for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'Howdo you stay in such great physical condition?' 'I'm from Wyoming and in my spare time I like to hunt and\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10989,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/golf-and-age\/","url_meta":{"origin":15675,"position":3},"title":"Golf and age","author":"bengt39","date":"2018-03-18","format":false,"excerpt":"Published first time 20110502 An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, \u2018How do you stay in such great physical condition?\u2019 I\u2019m Italian and I am a golfer,\u2019 says the old guy, \u2018and that\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8762,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-note-on-the\/","url_meta":{"origin":15675,"position":4},"title":"The note on the refrigerator\u2026\u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-11-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning: My Dear Honey, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5370,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/old-golfer\/","url_meta":{"origin":15675,"position":5},"title":"Old golfer \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-02-19","format":false,"excerpt":"A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, \"I'm not going to sugar coat it. 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