{"id":17989,"date":"2015-01-01T06:54:17","date_gmt":"2015-01-01T05:54:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=17989"},"modified":"2014-12-31T08:14:55","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T07:14:55","slug":"the-danger-with-a-facelift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-danger-with-a-facelift\/","title":{"rendered":"The danger with a facelift"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<div>While on the operating table she had a near death experience..<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Seeing God\u00a0she asked &#8221;Is my time up?&#8221;God said, &#8221;No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>&#8221;Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a\u00a0face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her\u00a0teeth!<\/div>\n<div>Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as\u00a0well make the most of it.After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.<\/div>\n<div>While crossing\u00a0the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.Arriving in front of God, she demanded, &#8221;I thought you said I had<br \/>\nanother 33 years?<\/p>\n<p>Why didn&#8217;t you pull me from out of the path of the<br \/>\nambulance?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>God replied: &#8221;Shit! I didn&#8217;t recognize you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><em>A contribution from Paul in Provence<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God\u00a0she asked &#8221;Is my time up?&#8221;God said, &#8221;No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live. &#8221;Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[2473],"class_list":["post-17989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-facelift"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-4G9","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12755,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/broccolli-caserolle\/","url_meta":{"origin":17989,"position":0},"title":"Broccoli Caserole \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-12-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Broccoli Casserole\u00a0\u00a0 A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19579,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/19579\/","url_meta":{"origin":17989,"position":1},"title":"FIRST DATE","author":"admin","date":"2014-03-20","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0J LENO Show USA This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!\u00a0 We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. I hope you're sitting down when you read it.\u00a0 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12056,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/happy-halloween\/","url_meta":{"origin":17989,"position":2},"title":"Happy Halloween \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-11-05","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15821,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/another-parrot-cheap-in-price-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","url_meta":{"origin":17989,"position":3},"title":"Another talking parrot this one cheap in price &#8230; \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-11-03","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. \"Why\u00a0 so little?\" she asked the pet store owner. 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