{"id":19279,"date":"2014-01-19T21:31:16","date_gmt":"2014-01-19T19:31:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=19279"},"modified":"2014-01-19T21:32:50","modified_gmt":"2014-01-19T19:32:51","slug":"letter-from-the-daughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/letter-from-the-daughter\/","title":{"rendered":"Letter from the daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"

A\u00a0 father goes into his daughter\u2019s bedroom and sees a letter addressed to \u201cMum and Dad\u201d on the bed. With a heavy heart he opens it and reads:<\/p>\n

Dear Mum & Dad,
\nIt is with great regret and sorrow that I\u2019m telling you that I\u2019ve eloped with my new boyfriend. I\u2019ve found real love and he is so nice. Especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos and his stolen Harley.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not only that, I\u2019m pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his caravan in Epping Forest. He wants to have many more children with me and that\u2019s one of my dreams too.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned that marijuana does not hurt anyone and we\u2019ll be growing it for us and Ahmed\u2019s friends. They\u2019re the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.<\/p>\n

In the meantime we\u2019ll pray for science to find a cure for AIDS, so Ahmed can get better. He deserves it.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn \u00a3200 per scene. I get a \u00a3200 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene and an extra \u00a3100 for the Alsatian.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry Mum. Now I\u2019m 14 I know how to take care of myself. Someday we\u2019ll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Dad, found the cash you were hiding from mum, but don’t worry we left you a few quid.<\/p>\n

Your loving daughter,<\/p>\n

Angelina.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

P.S.\u00a0 Dad. For God’s sake calm down.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not true.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m actually watching TV at the neighbours.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I just wanted to show you that there really\u00a0are\u00a0<\/span>worse things in life than England losing the Ashes.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A contribution from Hans the footdoc<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A\u00a0 father goes into his daughter\u2019s bedroom and sees a letter addressed to \u201cMum and Dad\u201d on the bed. With a heavy heart he opens it and reads: Dear Mum & Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I\u2019m telling you that I\u2019ve eloped with my new boyfriend. I\u2019ve found real love and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[2566,2565],"class_list":["post-19279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-brev","tag-dotter"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-50X","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5560,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/rude-passenger\/","url_meta":{"origin":19279,"position":0},"title":"Rude passenger… \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-07-23","format":false,"excerpt":"For all Employees Who Work with Rude Customers - An award should go to the Westjet Airline gate attendant in Kelowna , British Columbia for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded flight was canceled\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15876,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/never-bullashit-your-mama\/","url_meta":{"origin":19279,"position":1},"title":"Never bullashit your mama","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-11-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,\u00a0she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and\u00a0his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, \"I know what\u00a0you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just\u00a0roommates.'' About a week\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/mama.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9861,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/some-senior-humours\/","url_meta":{"origin":19279,"position":2},"title":"Some senior humours \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-02-08","format":false,"excerpt":"THREE OLD GUYS WALKING Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer SENIOR CITIZEN A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?'\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20708,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/halsning-fran-apotekaren\/","url_meta":{"origin":19279,"position":3},"title":"H\u00e4lsning fr\u00e5n apotekaren","author":"admin","date":"2014-11-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Peter goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist Hello, could you give me condom? I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!\"The pharmacist gives him the condom and as Peter was going out he returns and says,\"Give me\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10989,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/golf-and-age\/","url_meta":{"origin":19279,"position":4},"title":"Golf and age","author":"bengt39","date":"2018-03-18","format":false,"excerpt":"Published first time 20110502 An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, \u2018How do you stay in such great physical condition?\u2019 I\u2019m Italian and I am a golfer,\u2019 says the old guy, \u2018and that\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13965,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/short-memory\/","url_meta":{"origin":19279,"position":5},"title":"Short memory \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-03-22","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple in their nineties\u00a0are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 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