{"id":19579,"date":"2014-03-20T19:06:52","date_gmt":"2014-03-20T17:06:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=19579"},"modified":"2014-03-20T19:11:54","modified_gmt":"2014-03-20T17:11:54","slug":"19579","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/19579\/","title":{"rendered":"FIRST DATE"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: large;\">\u00a0J LENO Show USA<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: large;\">This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!\u00a0 We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: large;\">I hope you&#8217;re sitting down when you read it.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman had ever had. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">The winner described her worst first date and there was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">She said it was midwinter&#8230;Snowing and quite cold&#8230; and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">It was a\u00a0 day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. !! They were about an hour away from\u00a0 anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn&#8217;t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car&#8217;s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to flagpoles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her exposed flesh from the icy metal.. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large; line-height: 1.5em;\">Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date&#8217;s concerns about&#8217; what&#8217;s taking so long&#8217; with a reply that indeed, she was &#8217;freezing her butt off&#8217; and in need of some assistance!\u00a0 He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Or perhaps that should be &#8217;pants down&#8217;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Jay Leno&#8217;s comment&#8230;\u00a0\u00a0 &#8217;This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.&#8217;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-size: large;\">A nice contribution from Nicken the doc in Minneapolis<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0J LENO Show USA This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!\u00a0 We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. I hope you&#8217;re sitting down when you read it.\u00a0 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman had ever had. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[427,2590,2591],"class_list":["post-19579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-cold","tag-date","tag-pee"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s1IAXy-19579","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16534,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/bartalk\/","url_meta":{"origin":19579,"position":0},"title":"Bartalk","author":"admin","date":"2013-01-21","format":false,"excerpt":"As good as this bar is,\" said the Scotsman, \"I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.\" \"Well, Angus,\" said the Englishman, \"At\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18254,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-cow-from-minsk\/","url_meta":{"origin":19579,"position":1},"title":"The Cow from Minsk","author":"admin","date":"2014-09-22","format":false,"excerpt":"The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 roubles, or one from Minsk for 500 roubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful. It\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12755,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/broccolli-caserolle\/","url_meta":{"origin":19579,"position":2},"title":"Broccoli Caserole \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-12-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Broccoli Casserole\u00a0\u00a0 A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15348,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/how-internet-started-long-back-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":19579,"position":3},"title":"How internet started  long back ago","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-09-14","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.\u00a0And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15821,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/another-parrot-cheap-in-price-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","url_meta":{"origin":19579,"position":4},"title":"Another talking parrot this one cheap in price &#8230; \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-11-03","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. \"Why\u00a0 so little?\" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and\u00a0 said, \"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a\u00a0 house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/par1.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14280,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/better-than-the-latest-flue-shot\/","url_meta":{"origin":19579,"position":5},"title":"Better than the latest flue shot \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-06-30","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 \u00a0 Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties.\u00a0 And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. 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