{"id":20417,"date":"2012-10-18T11:52:27","date_gmt":"2012-10-18T09:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=20417"},"modified":"2014-10-18T11:55:26","modified_gmt":"2014-10-18T09:55:26","slug":"the-lie-clock","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-lie-clock\/","title":{"rendered":"The Lie-Clock"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A man died and went to heaven.<\/p>\n<p>As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.<\/p>\n<p>He asked, &#8217;What are all those clocks?&#8217;<br \/>\nSt. Peter answered, &#8217;Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8217;\u00a0\u00a0 Oh,&#8217; said the man, &#8217;whose clock is that?&#8217;<br \/>\n&#8217;\u00a0 That&#8217;s Mother Teresa&#8217;s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.&#8217;<br \/>\n&#8217;Incredible,&#8217; said the man.<\/p>\n<p>&#8217;And whose clock is that one?&#8217;<br \/>\nSt. Peter responded, &#8217;That&#8217;s Abraham Lincoln&#8217;s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8217;Where&#8217;s President Obama&#8217;s clock?&#8217; asked the man.<\/p>\n<p>&#8217;\u00a0 Obama&#8217;s clock is in Jesus&#8217; office. He&#8217;s using it as a ceiling fan.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><em>A nice contribution from Carlton in NC<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, &#8217;What are all those clocks?&#8217; St. Peter answered, &#8217;Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[2656],"class_list":["post-20417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-clock"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-5jj","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10110,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/goodbyegrandpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":20417,"position":0},"title":"Good bye grandpa   \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-03-07","format":false,"excerpt":"A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: \"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.\" The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, \"I don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9661,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/complex-principals-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":20417,"position":1},"title":"Complex principals","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-01-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Simple animation to explain complex principles 1: Aircraft Radial Engine 2: Oval Regulation 3: Sewing Machines 4: Malta Cross movement - second hand movement used to control the clock 5: Gearbox mechanism ' 6: Auto Constant Velocity Universal Joint 7: Gun Ammunition loading system 8: Rotary Engine - an internal\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/ATT27915.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7841,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/this-explains-why-i-forward-jokes\/","url_meta":{"origin":20417,"position":2},"title":"This explains why You forward jokes.","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-10-16","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/mananddog1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12888,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/what-a-coincidence\/","url_meta":{"origin":20417,"position":3},"title":"What a coincidence  \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-01-11","format":false,"excerpt":"A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.. The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne,too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me..... I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15586,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/15586\/","url_meta":{"origin":20417,"position":4},"title":"Italian confession \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-10-12","format":false,"excerpt":"A man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.\u00a0\u00a0 When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: \"Father.. 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