{"id":20443,"date":"2017-07-22T09:34:19","date_gmt":"2017-07-22T08:34:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=20443"},"modified":"2017-07-16T11:26:21","modified_gmt":"2017-07-16T10:26:21","slug":"baptizing-a-drunk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/baptizing-a-drunk\/","title":{"rendered":"Baptizing a drunk"},"content":{"rendered":"

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk,<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>’Are you ready to find Jesus?’
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>’Yes I am’<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span>replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk,\u00a0<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>’Brother, have you found Jesus?’
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>The drunk replies,\u00a0<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>’No, I haven’t.’<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span>The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again,<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>’Have you found Jesus, my brother?’
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>The drunk again answers,\u00a0<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>’No, I have not found Jesus.’
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again,\u00a0<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>’For the love of God, have you found Jesus?’
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

’Are you sure this is where he fell in?<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From my friend Carlton NC<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk,’Are you ready to find Jesus?’ ’Yes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[2661,2662],"class_list":["post-20443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-dopa","tag-full"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-5jJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16847,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/what-causes-arthritis\/","url_meta":{"origin":20443,"position":0},"title":"WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS ? \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"admin","date":"2013-02-15","format":false,"excerpt":"A drunk Irishman who smelled of beer sat down on a bus next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was\u00a0 sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17573,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/a-real-businessman\/","url_meta":{"origin":20443,"position":1},"title":"A real businessman","author":"admin","date":"2013-04-17","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. 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He made no attempt\u00a0 to start the cab.\u00a0 The woman glared back at\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12010,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-preacher\/","url_meta":{"origin":20443,"position":3},"title":"The preacher \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-10-29","format":false,"excerpt":"A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. 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