{"id":20628,"date":"2009-12-23T07:42:30","date_gmt":"2009-12-23T05:42:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=20628"},"modified":"2014-11-07T10:33:29","modified_gmt":"2014-11-07T08:33:29","slug":"managementraining-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/managementraining-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Management training 5 min part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Not gone through\u00a0\u00a0lesson 1 and two ?<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n

Lesson 3:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

They rub it and a Genie comes out.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The Genie says, ’I’ll give each of you just one wish.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

’Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ’I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Puff! She’s gone.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

’Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ’I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Puff! He’s gone.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

’OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager..<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The manager says, ’I want those two back in the office after<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

lunch.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Moral of the story:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Always let your boss have the first say.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Lesson 4<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ’Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The eagle answered: ’Sure, why not.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Moral of the story:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\nLesson 5<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A turkey was chatting with a bull.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

’I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ’but I haven’t got the energy.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

’Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Moral of the story:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\nLesson 6<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A little bird was flying south for the winter.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The dung was actually thawing him out!<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Morals of the story:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\n(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\n(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE\u00a0MANAGEMENT<\/span>\u00a0COURSE<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Send this to<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>at least<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span>five bright, funny people you know and make their day!<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A contribution from\u00a0Carlton NC USA<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Not gone through\u00a0\u00a0lesson 1 and two ? Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ’I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ’Me first! Me first!’ says the admin […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20628","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","category-underhallning"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-5mI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16450,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/managementtraining-lesson-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":20628,"position":0},"title":"Management training lesson 2","author":"admin","date":"2013-01-10","format":false,"excerpt":"A priest offered a Nun a lift\u2026 She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, \u2018Father, remember Psalm 129?\u2019 The priest removed his\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16381,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/management-training-lesson-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":20628,"position":1},"title":"Management training lesson 1","author":"admin","date":"2013-01-06","format":false,"excerpt":"A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6107,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/math-lesson-with-limes\/","url_meta":{"origin":20628,"position":2},"title":"Math lesson with limes \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-04-19","format":false,"excerpt":"A nice contribution from my friend Gunnar \u00c5 \" ashed\u00a0in \" during the weekend\u00a0in Turkey","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/math.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10131,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/10131\/","url_meta":{"origin":20628,"position":3},"title":"Maps Arab countries- learn locations!","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-03-09","format":false,"excerpt":"GREAT GEOGRAPHY LESSON It is amazing how often we speak of these countries and don't really know where they are. Drag the country's name onto the map. There is\u00a0no humbling score nor\u00a0time limit; this exercise is a learning tool. Don't fear making an error. Once you finish the puzzle, you\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12730,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/management-training\/","url_meta":{"origin":20628,"position":4},"title":"Management training \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2009-12-23","format":false,"excerpt":"5 Minutes\u00a0ManagementCourse Lesson 1:\u00a0 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17392,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/ideologier\/","url_meta":{"origin":20628,"position":5},"title":"Ideologier","author":"admin","date":"2013-04-29","format":false,"excerpt":"SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows. 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