{"id":22853,"date":"2015-02-10T07:57:05","date_gmt":"2015-02-10T06:57:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/?p=22853"},"modified":"2015-03-10T07:57:25","modified_gmt":"2015-03-10T06:57:25","slug":"sex-frogs-for-sale-only-10-each","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/sex-frogs-for-sale-only-10-each\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex Frogs for Sale, Only 10$ each"},"content":{"rendered":"

A beautiful blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks around the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs for Sale! Only $10 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions!<\/p>\n

The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody\u2019s looking and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, \u201cI\u2019ll take one.\u201d The man packaged the frog and said, \u201cPlease follow the instructions carefully.\u201d<\/p>\n

The blonde nods in agreement, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she takes out the instructions and reads them very carefully, doing exactly what it says to do:<\/p>\n

1. Take a shower.
\n2. Splash on some nice perfume.
\n3. Slip into some sexy lingerie.
\n4. Get into bed and position the frog in place.<\/p>\n

The blonde quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise and disappointment, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point.
\nShe re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom it says, \u201cIf you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.\u201d So she calls the pet store.<\/p>\n

The pet store owner says, \u201cI had some complaints earlier today. I\u2019ll be right over.\u201d<\/p>\n

Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, \u201cSee, I\u2019ve done everything according to the instructions and the damn frog just sits there.\u201d<\/p>\n

The pet store owner, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: \u201cListen to me! I\u2019m only going to show you how to do this one more time!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
\"\"A contribution from freddan_6<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A beautiful blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks around the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs for Sale! Only $10 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions! The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody\u2019s looking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[744],"class_list":["post-22853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-frog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-5WB","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18664,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/18664\/","url_meta":{"origin":22853,"position":0},"title":"The wise fisherman","author":"admin","date":"2013-11-29","format":false,"excerpt":"A guy is 85 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' He looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.'\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"wise","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/wise.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22566,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-blond-cop\/","url_meta":{"origin":22853,"position":1},"title":"The Blonde cop","author":"admin","date":"2015-02-09","format":false,"excerpt":"A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, \"I must have left it at home officer.\" The cop says, \"Well, do you have any kind of identification?\". The motorist scuffles\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11417,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-blonde-mortician\/","url_meta":{"origin":22853,"position":2},"title":"THE BLONDE MORTICIAN","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-08-07","format":false,"excerpt":"A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10382,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/an-irish-blonde-in-a-casino\/","url_meta":{"origin":22853,"position":3},"title":"AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-03-29","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.\u00a0 She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.\u00a0 With that, she stripped from the neck\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19579,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/19579\/","url_meta":{"origin":22853,"position":4},"title":"FIRST DATE","author":"admin","date":"2014-03-20","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0J LENO Show USA This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!\u00a0 We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. I hope you're sitting down when you read it.\u00a0 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14916,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/queendolly-go-to-heaven\/","url_meta":{"origin":22853,"position":5},"title":"Queen & Dolly go to heaven \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2013-01-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Queen\u00a0 Elizabeth and \u00a0\u00a0Dolly\u00a0 Parton die\u00a0 on the same day and they both\u00a0 go \u00a0before\u00a0 an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to\u00a0 Heaven. Unfortunately,\u00a0 there's only one space left that\u00a0 day ~ so\u00a0 the Angel must decide which of\u00a0 them\u00a0gets\u00a0 in. The\u00a0 Angel asks Dolly if there's\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/ATT00001-1-243x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22853"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22854,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22853\/revisions\/22854"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}