{"id":3734,"date":"2017-07-23T06:00:15","date_gmt":"2017-07-23T05:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=3734"},"modified":"2017-07-18T11:56:06","modified_gmt":"2017-07-18T10:56:06","slug":"two-ladies-in-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/two-ladies-in-heaven\/","title":{"rendered":"Two ladies in heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven<\/strong><\/p>\n

1st\u00a0 woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.<\/p>\n

2nd\u00a0 woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?<\/p>\n

1st\u00a0 woman: I froze to death.<\/p>\n

2nd\u00a0 woman: How horrible!<\/p>\n

1st\u00a0 woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?<\/p>\n

2nd\u00a0 woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.<\/p>\n

1st\u00a0 woman: So, what happened?<\/p>\n

2nd\u00a0 woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.\u00a0 I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
\nI kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.<\/p>\n

1st\u00a0 woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive.\u00a0\u00a0 …\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st\u00a0 woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd\u00a0 woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die? 1st\u00a0 woman: I froze to death. 2nd\u00a0 woman: How horrible! 1st\u00a0 woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[1174],"class_list":["post-3734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-ladies-in-heaven"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-Ye","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11603,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/step-on-duck\/","url_meta":{"origin":3734,"position":0},"title":"Do not step on the duck \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-09-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.\u00a0 When they get there, St. Peter says,\u00a0 'We only have one rule here in heaven:\u00a0 Don't step on the ducks!' So they enter heaven, and sure enough,\u00a0 There are ducks all over the place.\u00a0 It is almost impossible not\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/duckm-185x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":16364,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/irish-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":3734,"position":1},"title":"IRISH STORY \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"admin","date":"2013-01-06","format":false,"excerpt":"TWO IRISH WOMEN IN A BAR Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from\u00a0Ireland.' The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!' 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Again Judy remarried, and this time she & John had 5 more children.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15821,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/another-parrot-cheap-in-price-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","url_meta":{"origin":3734,"position":3},"title":"Another talking parrot this one cheap in price … \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-11-03","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. \"Why\u00a0 so little?\" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and\u00a0 said, \"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a\u00a0 house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/par1.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7197,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-bottle-of-wine\/","url_meta":{"origin":3734,"position":4},"title":"The bottle of wine \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-08-06","format":false,"excerpt":"THE BOTTLE OF WINE For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22573,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/grannies-on-the-road\/","url_meta":{"origin":3734,"position":5},"title":"Grannies on the road","author":"admin","date":"2017-01-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. 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