{"id":4202,"date":"2009-12-24T19:38:05","date_gmt":"2009-12-24T18:38:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=4202"},"modified":"2014-12-19T16:22:13","modified_gmt":"2014-12-19T15:22:13","slug":"onions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/onions\/","title":{"rendered":"ONIONS AND CHRISTMASTREES"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES<\/strong><\/p>\n

A family is at the dinner table.. The son asks his father, ’Dad, how
\nmany kinds of boobs are there?<\/p>\n

The father, surprised, answers, ’Well, son, there are three kinds of
\nBoobs:<\/p>\n

In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm.<\/p>\n

In her 30’s to 40’s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.<\/p>\n

After 50,
\nthey are like onions’.<\/p>\n

’Onions?’<\/p>\n

’Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’<\/p>\n

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,<\/p>\n

’Mum, how many kinds of ’willies’ are there?.<\/p>\n

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, ’Well dear,
\na man goes through three phases.<\/p>\n

In his 20’s, his willy is like an oak
\ntree, mighty and hard.<\/p>\n

In his 30’s and 40’s, it is like a birch,
\nflexible but reliable.<\/p>\n

After his 50’s, it is like a Christmas Tree.’<\/p>\n

’A Christmas tree?’<\/p>\n

’Yes – the root’s dead and the balls are just for decoration<\/p>\n

A contribution from Anders in Viken<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES A family is at the dinner table.. The son asks his father, ’Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, ’Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs: In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm. In her 30’s to 40’s, they are like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[727,1071],"class_list":["post-4202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-frackis","tag-julafton"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s1IAXy-onions","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12896,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-honeymooners\/","url_meta":{"origin":4202,"position":0},"title":"The Honeymooners \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-01-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together. After\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19279,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/letter-from-the-daughter\/","url_meta":{"origin":4202,"position":1},"title":"Letter from the daughter","author":"admin","date":"2014-01-19","format":false,"excerpt":"A\u00a0 father goes into his daughter\u2019s bedroom and sees a letter addressed to \u201cMum and Dad\u201d on the bed. With a heavy heart he opens it and reads: Dear Mum & Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I\u2019m telling you that I\u2019ve eloped with my new boyfriend.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8204,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/matte-ar-svart-math-is-hard\/","url_meta":{"origin":4202,"position":2},"title":"Matte \u00e4r sv\u00e5rt \/Math is hard \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-11-03","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0Klaga inte p\u00e5 den svenska matteundervisningen den \u00e4r lika i hela v\u00e4stv\u00e4rlden verkar det som ... USA 2005 Last week I got a burger at Burger King for $1.58. \u00a0The counter girl took \u00a0my $2 and was digging for my change when I pulled 8\u00a0\u00a0cents from my pocket \u00a0and gave\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13433,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-scottish-brothel\/","url_meta":{"origin":4202,"position":3},"title":"The Scottish Brothel \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-08-14","format":false,"excerpt":"The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. \u00a0 \"May I help you sir?\"\u00a0she asked. \u00a0 The man replied,\u00a0\u00a0\"I want to see Suzy.\" \u00a0 \"Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies Perhaps you\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17486,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/5-answers\/","url_meta":{"origin":4202,"position":4},"title":"5 Answers","author":"admin","date":"2013-05-24","format":false,"excerpt":"THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS? A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.' Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7841,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/this-explains-why-i-forward-jokes\/","url_meta":{"origin":4202,"position":5},"title":"This explains why You forward jokes.","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-10-16","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. 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