{"id":4371,"date":"2010-01-02T07:56:59","date_gmt":"2010-01-02T06:56:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=4371"},"modified":"2015-01-15T12:07:18","modified_gmt":"2015-01-15T11:07:18","slug":"an-atheist-in-the-woods-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/an-atheist-in-the-woods-%c2%a4%c2%a4%c2%a4\/","title":{"rendered":"An Atheist in the Woods"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><em>AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">An atheist was walking through the woods.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">&#8217;What majestic trees!\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">&#8217;What powerful rivers!\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">&#8217;What beautiful animals!\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">He said to himself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. <\/span><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/grizzly001.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4372\" title=\"grizzly001\" src=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/grizzly001.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"405\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &amp; saw that the bear was closing in on him..<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">He looked over his shoulder again, &amp; the bear was even closer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">He tripped &amp; fell on the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw &amp; raising his right<br \/>\npaw to strike him&#8230; <\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/grizzly002.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4373\" title=\"grizzly002\" src=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/grizzly002.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">At that instant the Atheist cried out,\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">&#8217;Oh my God!&#8217;<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Time Stopped. <\/span><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">The bear froze. <\/span><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">The forest was silent.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><em>&#8217;You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don&#8217;t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.&#8217;<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><em>&#8217;Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><em>Am I to count you as a believer?<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">The atheist looked directly into the light, <\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">&#8217;It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian&#8217;?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><em>&#8217;Very well,&#8217; said the voice..<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><em>The light went out. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><em>The sounds of the forest resumed. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><em>And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &amp; spoke:<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/grizzly003.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4374\" title=\"grizzly003\" src=\"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/grizzly003.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><em>&#8217;Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Reminded of by Paul i Provence<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS An atheist was walking through the woods. &#8217;What majestic trees!\u00a0\u00a0 &#8217;What powerful rivers!\u00a0 &#8217;What beautiful animals!\u00a0 He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[173,267,851,1427,1830,2262],"class_list":["post-4371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-ateist","tag-bjorn","tag-grizzly","tag-no-tiger","tag-skog","tag-woods"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-18v","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3846,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/golf-joke\/","url_meta":{"origin":4371,"position":0},"title":"Golf joke \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2009-12-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Got this funny joke the other day Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?\u00a0 Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12056,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/happy-halloween\/","url_meta":{"origin":4371,"position":1},"title":"Happy Halloween \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-11-05","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7841,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/this-explains-why-i-forward-jokes\/","url_meta":{"origin":4371,"position":2},"title":"This explains why You forward jokes.","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-10-16","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/mananddog1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24423,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-guardian-angel\/","url_meta":{"origin":4371,"position":3},"title":"The guardian Angel","author":"admin","date":"2016-01-11","format":false,"excerpt":"A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. \"Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.\" The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20443,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/baptizing-a-drunk\/","url_meta":{"origin":4371,"position":4},"title":"Baptizing a drunk","author":"admin","date":"2017-07-22","format":false,"excerpt":"A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk,'Are you\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16880,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/alternate-shots\/","url_meta":{"origin":4371,"position":5},"title":"Alternate shots","author":"admin","date":"2013-02-18","format":false,"excerpt":"A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples\u2019 alternate shot \u00a0tournament at his club He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards\u00a0down the middle of the fairway.Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife \u201dJust hit it toward the\u00a0\u00a0green,\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4371"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4371\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22122,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4371\/revisions\/22122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}