{"id":6635,"date":"2010-05-13T06:53:49","date_gmt":"2010-05-13T05:53:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=6635"},"modified":"2010-05-13T06:53:49","modified_gmt":"2010-05-13T05:53:49","slug":"golfers-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/golfers-poem\/","title":{"rendered":"Golfers poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
\nWhite And Dimpled, Rather Small.
\nOh, How Bland It Does Appear,
\nThis Harmless Looking Little Sphere.<\/span><\/p>\n

By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
\nThe Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
\nBut Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
\nI’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.<\/span><\/p>\n

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
\nSince I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
\nIt Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
\nA Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.<\/span><\/p>\n

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,
\nI Hate Myself And Want To Die.
\nIt Promises A Thing Called Par,
\nIf I Can Hit It Straight And Far.<\/span><\/p>\n

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
\nShould Not Be Very Hard At All.
\nBut My Desires The Ball Refuses,
\nAnd Does Exactly As It Chooses.<\/span><\/p>\n

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
\nAnd Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
\nOften It Will Have A Whim,
\nTo Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.<\/span><\/p>\n

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
\nIt Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
\nThen Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
\nIf Only It Would Find The Hole.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
\nAnd Swear That I Will Give It Up.
\nAnd Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
\nBut The Ball Knows … I’ll Be Back Tomorrow.
\n***********<\/span><\/p>\n

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls…..
\nA recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
\nAnother study found golfers drink, on average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
\nThat means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon..<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Kind of makes you proud. Almost feel like a hybrid.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, Rather Small. Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere. By Its Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell. My Life Has Not Been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,19,21,26,28],"tags":[2813,1579],"class_list":["post-6635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-underhallning","category-allmant","category-friluftsliv","category-golf","tag-golf","tag-poem"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-1J1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9600,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/en-minnesvard-historia-a-golfstory-topclass\/","url_meta":{"origin":6635,"position":0},"title":"En minnesv\u00e4rd golfhistoria…","author":"bengt39","date":"2011-01-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Arthur is a 90 years old active golfer. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.\u00a0 One day he\u00a0arrives home looking downcast. \"That's it,\"\u00a0 he tells his wife. \"I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. 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This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference.\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18062,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/what-is-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":6635,"position":3},"title":"WHAT IS TIME..","author":"admin","date":"2013-09-20","format":false,"excerpt":"Stay Young My Friend We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are! HOW YO STAY YOUNG 1.. Try everything twice. On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:\"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!\" 2. Keep only cheerful\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d9 Underh\u00e5llning\u201d","block_context":{"text":"9 Underh\u00e5llning","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/underhallning\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"image002","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/image002.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19609,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/anger-management\/","url_meta":{"origin":6635,"position":4},"title":"ANGER MANAGEMENT","author":"admin","date":"2014-03-27","format":false,"excerpt":"ANGER MANAGEMENT A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper The Doctor asks: \u201cWhat's the problem?\u201d . \u00a0The woman says: \u201cDoctor, I don't know what to do.\u00a0 Every day\u00a0my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason.\u00a0 It scares me.\u201d . \u00a0The Doctor says: \u201cI have\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23143,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-importance-of-golf\/","url_meta":{"origin":6635,"position":5},"title":"The importance of golf","author":"admin","date":"2015-05-03","format":false,"excerpt":"A man had two of the best tickets for the Augusta Masters. 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