{"id":9861,"date":"2011-02-08T11:05:03","date_gmt":"2011-02-08T10:05:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agert.homelinux.org\/WorldPress\/?p=9861"},"modified":"2011-02-08T11:05:03","modified_gmt":"2011-02-08T10:05:03","slug":"some-senior-humours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/some-senior-humours\/","title":{"rendered":"Some senior humours \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4"},"content":{"rendered":"

THREE OLD GUYS WALKING<\/strong><\/p>\n

Three old guys are out walking.<\/p>\n

First one says, ’Windy, isn’t it?’<\/p>\n

Second one says, ’No, it’s Thursday!’<\/p>\n

Third one says, ’So am I. Let’s go get a beer<\/p>\n

SENIOR CITIZEN<\/strong><\/p>\n

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:<\/p>\n

’So I hear you’re getting married?’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Yep!’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Do I know her?’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Nope!’<\/em><\/p>\n

’This woman, is she good looking?’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Not really.’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Is she a good cook?<\/em>’<\/p>\n

’Naw, she can’t cook too well.’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Does she have lots of money?’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Nope! Poor as a church mouse.<\/em>’<\/p>\n

’Well, then, is she good in bed?’<\/em><\/p>\n

’I don’t know.’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’<\/em><\/p>\n

’Because she can still drive!’<\/em><\/p>\n

TWO ELDERLY GENTLEMEN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:<\/p>\n

’Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Slim says,\u00a0\u00a0’I feel just like a newborn baby<\/em>.’<\/p>\n

\u00a0’Really!? Like a newborn baby!?’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0’Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.<\/em>’<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

ELDERLY COUPLE<\/strong><\/p>\n

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen..<\/p>\n

\u00a0The two gentlemen were talking, and one said,<\/p>\n

\u00a0’Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0The other man said, ’What is the name of the restaurant?<\/em>’<\/p>\n

\u00a0The first man thought and thought and finally said,<\/p>\n

’What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know…. The one that’s red and has thorns<\/em>.’<\/p>\n

\u00a0’Do you mean a rose?’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0’Yes, that’s the one<\/em>,’ replied the man.<\/p>\n

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0’Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’<\/em><\/p>\n

AN OLD GENTLEMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.<\/p>\n

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.<\/p>\n

\u00a0A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ’You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Morris replied, ’Just doing what you said, Doc\u00a0<\/em>– ’Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0The doctor said, ’I didn’t say that.. I said, ’You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’<\/em><\/p>\n

COUPLE IN THEIR NINETIES\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..<\/p>\n

\u00a0Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ’Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?<\/em>’ he asks.<\/p>\n

\u00a0’Get me a bowl of ice cr<\/em>eam’ she said. ”Can you remember that<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

\u00a0’Sure..’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0’Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it<\/em>?’ she asks.<\/p>\n

\u00a0’No, I can remember it.’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0’Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it<\/em>?’<\/p>\n

\u00a0He says, ’I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0’I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?<\/em>’ she asks.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Irritated, he says, ’I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake<\/em>!’<\/p>\n

\u00a0Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.<\/p>\n

\u00a0’Where’s my toast ?’<\/em><\/p>\n

Now , before you ’forget’<\/em><\/strong>, send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh !!<\/p>\n

All the best from my friend Carlton in NC<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THREE OLD GUYS WALKING Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ’Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ’No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ’So am I. Let’s go get a beer SENIOR CITIZEN A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ’So I hear you’re getting married?’ ’Yep!’ ’Do I know her?’ […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[1782],"class_list":["post-9861","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english-stuff","category-ett-gott-skratt","tag-seniorhistoria"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1IAXy-2z3","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16073,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/a-few-good-senior-moments\/","url_meta":{"origin":9861,"position":0},"title":"A FEW GOOD SENIOR MOMENTS","author":"admin","date":"2012-12-13","format":false,"excerpt":"An elderly gentleman....\u00a0 Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14118,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/senior\/","url_meta":{"origin":9861,"position":1},"title":"Senior \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-03-30","format":false,"excerpt":"A senior citizen\u00a0said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! 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We went behind the\u00a0 village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and\u00a0 I made love to you.\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d2 JOKES\u201d","block_context":{"text":"2 JOKES","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/ett-gott-skratt\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5370,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/old-golfer\/","url_meta":{"origin":9861,"position":3},"title":"Old golfer \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2010-02-19","format":false,"excerpt":"A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, \"I'm not going to sugar coat it. This\u2026","rel":"","context":"I \u201d1 English stuff\u201d","block_context":{"text":"1 English stuff","link":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/category\/english-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12896,"url":"https:\/\/fatherben.se\/wordpress\/the-honeymooners\/","url_meta":{"origin":9861,"position":4},"title":"The Honeymooners \u00a4\u00a4\u00a4","author":"bengt39","date":"2012-01-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together. 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