1 English stuff

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Women drivers ¤¤¤

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac

 Doing 65 mph With her Face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner.I looked away 

For a couple seconds… to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don’t scare easily. 

But she scared me so much; I dropped My electric shaver 

Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand.

 In all The confusion of trying To straighten out the car Using my knees against The steering wheel,

 It knocked My Cell Phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coffee Between my legs! Splashed,

 And burned Big Jim and the Twins, Ruined the damn phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an Important call. 

Damn women drivers!

 

 

 A contribution from Lawrence ( not from Arabia )

More women drivers

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Happy Halloween ¤¤¤

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.

Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.So he took his costume and
away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go to the party.Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little touch here and a little kiss there.His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished… Naturally, (since he was her husband.)Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.

He said: ”Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”- ”Did you dance much ?”- ”You know, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Browning and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.

But you’re not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to….”

A Contribution from Bent in Denmark