1 English stuff

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After 50 years of marriage ¤¤¤

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said:

”Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV……but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.”

”Now… I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and….she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great?

They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.

A Contribution from Paul in Provence

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The preacher ¤¤¤

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.

The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.

The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.

The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn’t talk for more than 8 minutes.

The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes.

But, the third Sunday, he put his wife’s teeth in by mistake and he couldn’t shut up..