2 JOKES

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Sex Frogs for Sale, Only 10$ each

A beautiful blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks around the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs for Sale! Only $10 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions!

The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s looking and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll take one.” The man packaged the frog and said, “Please follow the instructions carefully.”

The blonde nods in agreement, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she takes out the instructions and reads them very carefully, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into some sexy lingerie.
4. Get into bed and position the frog in place.

The blonde quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise and disappointment, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point.
She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom it says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.” So she calls the pet store.

The pet store owner says, “I had some complaints earlier today. I’ll be right over.”

Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions and the damn frog just sits there.”

The pet store owner, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: “Listen to me! I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”

A contribution from freddan_6
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The Blonde cop

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it.

She says to the cop, ”I must have left it at home officer.”

The cop says, ”Well, do you have any kind of identification?”.

The motorist scuffles around in her purse, and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, ”All I have is this picture of myself.”
The cop says, ”Ok Let me see it, then. So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, she looks at it, and replies,

”Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now.”

Contribution KlasJ M61

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Vart tog cykeln vägen ?

John Petter ringde på hos prästen och var ganska upprörd när han stod där på trappan till prästbostaden.

John Petter berättade att hans cykel var stulen och han misstänkte att det var någon i församlingen som stulit den. Prästen lyssnade på John Petter och kom på en bra idé hur han skulle honom.

John Petter skulle komma till högmässan och då skulle prästen läsa upp de tio budorden och när han kom till ”du skall icke stjäla” så skulle John Petter vända sig mot församlingen och då skulle nog den skyldige reagera så att John Petter kunde avslöja tjuven.

Högmässan ägde rum och efter den  kallade prästen på John Petter och vill höra hur det hela hade avlöpt.

Jo det gick bra sa John Petter men inte på det sätt som du hade planerat utan när du kom till budet ”du skall icke begå äktenskapsbrott” då kom jag på var jag ställt cykeln.

Bidrag från Arne i Gavle