Confession

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, ”Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Beth replied, ”Well Charles, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason.”

Charles was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, ”I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ’good reasons’?”

Beth said, ”The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Charles recalled the visit to the banker and said, ”I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”

Beth asked, ”And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”

”I recall that,” says Chuck. ”And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

”All right,” Beth said. ”So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”

THE SPOON

The spoon

 spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make adifference in an organization. Very impressive!

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ’Steve’s Place,’ and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, ’Why the spoon?’

’Well, ’he explained, ’the restaurant’s owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.

After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. ’I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.’ I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.  Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, ’Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?’

 

”Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice.

’Not everyone is so observant.  That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, ’After you get it out, how do you put it back?’

’Well,’ he whispered, ’I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.’

 A contribution from Carlton in NC

Management training lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift…

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

To learn from the lesson 2 in business terms

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.