2 JOKES

by

The Scottish Brothel ¤¤¤

The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
 
”May I help you sir?” she asked.
 
The man replied,  ”I want to see Suzy.”
 
”Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies
Perhaps you would prefer someone else” , said the madam.
 
He replied,  ”No, I must see Suzy.”
 
Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit.
 
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.
 
After an hour, the man calmly left.
 
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy.
 
Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
 
”There are no discounts. The price is still £5000.”
 
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.
 
After an hour, he left..
 
The following night the man was there yet again.
 
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.
 
After their session, Suzy said to the man,
”No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?”
 
The man replied,  ”  Edinburgh.”
 
”Really,” she said.  ”I have family in Edinburgh   .”

”I know.” the man said.  ”Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer
She asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance.” 

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1.  Death
2.  Taxes
3.  Being screwed by a lawyer!

A contribution from Paul in Provence

by

Do not mess with seniors ¤¤¤

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few
shelves set up.

One said to the other, ”I bet any minute now some senior is going to
walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice
asked, ”What are you sellin’ here?”

One of the men replied sarcastically, ”We’re selling ass-holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, ”Must be doing well…
only two left.”
Seniors — don’t mess with them!

A nice contribution from my friend Henrik