The new Lexus

A very famous and successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus de Luxe in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver’s door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. ”I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. ”You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”

”How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, ”Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!”

”OH, MY GOD!!!” screamed the lawyer. ”My Rolex!!!”

A nice contribution from Hans the footdoc

 

IQ-test

 

FIRST QUESTION:
YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE
THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?

(scroll down)

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!


TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON’T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?
 
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ 


SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE….?
(scroll down)

 

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE…..
WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME,  STUPID, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

YOU’RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~


THIRD QUESTION:
A BIT OF MATHEMATICS! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.DO NOT WRITE IT DOWN OR USE A CALCULATOR!


TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?

(scroll down)

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

DID YOU GET 5000?

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100…

IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IT, NOW CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

MAYBE YOU’LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT…. MAYBE…


FOURTH QUESTION:
MARY’S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:
1: NANA,  2: NENE,  3: NINI,  4: NONO, AND  ???

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?


(scroll down)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN’T!

READ THE QUESTION AGAIN! HER NAME IS MARY!
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

OK, NOW THE BONUS ROUND,
A FINAL FINAL CHANCE TO
REDEEM YOURSELF:


A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE
SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE.
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WANTING TO BUY A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?
(scroll down)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

IT’S REALLY VERY SIMPLE
HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT…

 
DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!
A contribution from Paul in provence