Dog behaviour ¤¤¤

My dog

My dog sleeps about 18 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Veterinarian once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this He pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

If He makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free

 He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, my dog is a Democrat!

Hemlighusens oskrivna poesi

 

 

” HEMLIGHUSENS OSKRIVNA POESI”

Okänd poet

Du dass, du dass , du hemlighus

dig ägnar jag min sång

Du lätta kan min börda

uti en värld så vrång

Här lyssnar jag på suset från flugor,björk
och al

här sitter jag på huset och skriver pekoral

 

Välkomna hit, sitt ned och skit

att lätta livets bördor

Om du är frisk och sund

sitt blott en liten stund

Men har du ont i magen

så sitt här hela dagen

 

 citat ur brev från Gustav Fröding  till Selma Lagerlöf 

På dasset jag satt och läste ert brev

ju mera jag läste ju mera det drev

Då marken var frusen ock ej fanns ett löv

då passa ert brev att torka min röv

jag skiter i rykte ,ära och namn

jag skiter i guld och pengar

jag skiter i damernas svällande barm

jag skiter i deras sängar

jag skiter i Boren, Roxen och Glan

jag skiter i påve, kung och sultan

jag skiter i farbror om jag inte får pengar

jag skiter i varmt jag skiter i kallt

jag skiter  ta mej fan i allt

( Gustaf Fröding i brev till Selma Lagerlöf
för hennes starka kritik mot Gustafs ”En morgondröm” )

 Gammaldassens vänner

ONIONS AND CHRISTMASTREES

ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES

A family is at the dinner table.. The son asks his father, ’Dad, how
many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, ’Well, son, there are three kinds of
Boobs:

In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30’s to 40’s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After 50,
they are like onions’.

’Onions?’

’Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,

’Mum, how many kinds of ’willies’ are there?.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, ’Well dear,
a man goes through three phases.

In his 20’s, his willy is like an oak
tree, mighty and hard.

In his 30’s and 40’s, it is like a birch,
flexible but reliable.

After his 50’s, it is like a Christmas Tree.’

’A Christmas tree?’

’Yes – the root’s dead and the balls are just for decoration

A contribution from Anders in Viken

Management training ¤¤¤

5 Minutes ManagementCourse

Lesson 1: 
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ’I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ’Who was that?’

’It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

’Great,’ the husband says, ’did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

 Lesson 2:

A Priest offered a nun a lift…..

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ’Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, ’Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ’Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ’Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

 

THAT ENDS  PART  ONE OF  THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

MORE LESSONS NR 3-5 Clic on this LINK 

Send this to  at least five bright, funny people you know and make their day!

A contribution from my friend Carlton in Charlotte NC