Författare: bengt39

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Captain speaking

A Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising
altitude, the  captain announced:
  
’Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.  Welcome to Flight 293,non-stop from   London Heathrow to  Toronto .

The weather ahead is good, so we should have a  smooth uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and…..  OH, MY GOD !’
   
Silence followed!
 
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
 
’Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I  was
talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally  spilled a cup of hot
coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!’
  
One Irish passenger yelled…
 ’For f*#k’s sake  ……..you should  see the back of  mine!!!’  

A nice contribution from Anders in Viken

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Italian confession ¤¤¤

A man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.  
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

”Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis.  So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied: ”That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.”

”There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors.  This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.”

The priest said, ”That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.  However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”

”Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind.  I do have one more question.”

 ”And what is that?” asked the priest.

”Should I tell her the war is over?”

A contribution from TordJörgen Linkoping

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Know your customers…¤¤¤

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.

A friend asked:  ”Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”

The salesman explained
”When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters…

First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand…totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster:  The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And then these posters were pasted all over the place

”Then that should have worked!” said the friend.

”The hell it should had!? said the salesman.  didn’t realize that Arabs read from right to left”

A contribution from my brother Lars

Link     agert.homelinux.org/WorldPress/know-your-customers/