Författare: bengt39

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Best Joke in 2011

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they see a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars,so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars,so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, ”Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

A contribution from my friend Bent in Denmark

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Missing bucks…

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has stolen ten million bucks from him.

The bookkeeper is deaf. It was the reason he got the job in the first
place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he’d ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: ”Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?”

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the $10 million bucks is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: ”I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The attorney tells the Godfather: ”He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper’s temple, cocks it, and says: ”Ask him again!”

The attorney signs to the underling: ”He’ll kill you for sure if you
don’t tell him!”

The bookkeeper signs back: ”Ok! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in
Queens!”

The Godfather asks the attorney: ”Well, what’d he say?”

The attorney replies: ”He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

 

Bonus

If you dont know the difference between guts and balls