Författare: bengt39
Flight AA123 from NYC to LA
A plane was taking off from New York and La Guardia Airport. After it reached a cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to American 123, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH, MY GOD!”
Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!”
A passenger in Economy said, That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”
A nice contribution from Jörgen M61
Finsk CV ¤¤¤
Finskt CV
Tå ja såk annons att ni sökte vinskspråkiga brästen, dänkte ja, joppet är mitt!! Ja har pra meriter sen titikare, nu ja räkna tom:
1) Krundskola klass 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 och halva suan 2) Konvirmerad
3) Joppet: ja ha inte joppat på syrka förut, men ja har varit me på kusinens pekravning
4) Ja är van att plattra vädret, så ja kan nog bredika pra
5) Ja är också jäveln på planda krokkar, så ja kan servera nattvarten
Nu ja undra? Lönen, met mina meriter grävs en hök lön, ganse 40 000 kr/mån. Och sänstepil kräver ja. Sapp Aero, samma som syrkoherden har, ja dror nämliken på jämlikhet.
Ja har kått många gurser, nu ja räkna dom:
1) Säljgurs halva feckan 2) ABF-gurs, lär dig spela kitarr för nupörjare
3) Kongurs. De va konsti gurs.
4) Tatautpildning
5) Utpildning för olika porrmaskiner, så jak är tuktig på att porra om nåke ramlar ner så kan jak porra upp det igen
Ja ser fram att vå åka på mer gurser helst till Nutbu, tär är pra trag med ristiprud och parnlickan. Ja tycka om liv på luckan.Hoppas no kan pestämma snappt, stämplingen tar snart slut. Dveka ej, nästa vecka har ja säkert nutt på kång!
Typ innepannty.
Smart old men ¤¤¤
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting And laughing with glee..
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, ’We’re not coming out until you leave!
The old man frowned, ’I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said, ’I’m here to feed the alligator.’
Some old men can still think fast.!!
Origin from my friend Carlton in Charlotte NC reminded of by Paul in Provence