1 English stuff

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OH Shit

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ’You don’t know Jack Schitt!’

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ’You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER: IF YOU DON’T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT…

A nice contribution from Paul in Provence

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Katoliker emellan

 

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter’s Square.

The first Catholic man tells his friends:
”My son is a  priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him  ’Father’.”

The second Catholic man says:
”My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ’Your Grace’.”

The third declares:
”My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ’Your Eminence’.”

With great pride the fourth Catholic man says:
”My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ’Your Holiness’.”

The lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, so the four men give her a subtle, ”Well….?”

She proudly replies:

”I have a daughter,

SLIM
TALL
BLONDE
38” BUST
24″ WAIST and
36” HIPS

When she walks into a room, people say: ”Jesus Christ”!

A nice Contribution from Paul in Provence