WHAT IS THE GENDER OF YOUR COMPUTER ?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

’House’ for instance, is feminine: ’la casa.’
’Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ’el lapiz.’

A student asked,
’What gender is ’computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female,
and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. 

 The men’s group decided that ’computer’should definitely be of the feminine gender
(’la computadora’ ),
because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;  and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
 

 The women’s group, concluded that computers should be Masculine
(’el computador’) ,
because: 
 
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

General Motors reply to BILL GATES

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

 “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

 In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press Release Stating,

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part, especially 7th point and 10th point).

 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car!

 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.

 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation” warning light.

 7. The airbag system would ask, “Are you sure?” before deploying.

 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

A contribution from Paul

Never undervalue the manufacturing industries …… 🙂