The man with one arm

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play golf.

One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn’t have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself. I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself.

He thanked him again for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.

He asked ”Why are you so happy anyway?”

He said ”I’m NOT happy. My balls itch”.

 from Anders in Viken

Förmaningar

Mamman försöker förmana sin 17-åriga dotter för livets faror:

– Vad gör du om du blir antastad av en man en mörk kväll på en mörk gata?

– Jag skulle kvickt dra ner byxorna på honom och lika kvickt dra upp min kjol…

– Är du från vettet, flicka lilla?

– Nej, vem tror du springer fortast, en karl med byxorna nerdragna eller en flicka med uppdragen kjol…

 från Olemand