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Christmas shopping ¤¤¤

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.

As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.

Because she was so worried, she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.

In a calm voice, the husband said, ”Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would
get it for you one day?”

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, ”Yes, I remember that jewelry store.”

He said, ”Well, I’m in the bar right next to it.

From Grady in NC

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Retirement different way

One day, while going to the shop, I passed by a retirement village. 
On the front lawn were six old ladies, lying naked on the grass.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way.On my return trip, I passed the same retirement village with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.

This time my curiosity got the better of me and I went inside to talk
to the retirement village Administrator, and asked her? “ Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?”

Yes, she said, ”aren’t they darlings? 

They’re retired prostitutes –
they’re having a garage sale.
A contribution from Paul in Provence