Another talking parrot this one cheap in price … ¤¤¤

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

”Why  so little?” she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and  said,
”Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a  house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar  stuff.”

The  woman thought about this, but decided   she  had to have the bird anyway.   She took it home and hung the  bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say  something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and  said,
”New house, new madam.”

The  woman was a bit shocked at the implication,  but  then thought ”that’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage  daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and  said,   ”New  house, new madam, new girls.”

The girls and the woman were a bit  offended but then began to laugh about the situation  considering  how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the  woman’s husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and  said,

 

”Hi Keith.”  

Another international  contribution from TJ

The Parrot ¤¤¤

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft 
music and anything else he could think of to ’clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand,grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed. 

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said

”I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

 

”May I ask what the turkey did?”

A nice  contribution from Paul in Provence