The Pope is visiting the USA and decides to take a turn at the wheel of his limo.
The Pope gets in the driving seat, while his driver hops in the back and they shoot off at 80 mph.
Not surprisingly they’re pulled over by a traffic cop.
The cop radios into the police station. ‘We’ve got a VIP situation here,’ says the cop. ‘I just pulled over someone who’s really, really important.’
‘Who is it?’ asks the station controller.
‘I don’t know,’ says the cop. ‘But his chauffeur is the Pope.’
A contribution from Gunilla D S59
A drunk Irishman who smelled of beer sat down on a bus next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, ”Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest replies, ”My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”
The drunk muttered, ”Well, I’ll be damned”, then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. ”I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to be so direct.
How long have you had arthritis?”
The drunk answered, ”I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
Another Paul from Provence contribution