Författare: admin

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Man Vs Woman Debate

Woman:
Do  you drink beer?

Man:Yes

Woman:
How many beers a  day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do  you pay per beer?

Man:

$5.00 which includes a  tip

( This is where it gets scary ! )

Woman:
And  how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I  suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day  which puts your spending
each month at $450. In one year, it would be  approximately $5400
…correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year  you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts  your spending at $108,000,  correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that  if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could
have been put in a  step-up interest savings account and after accounting
for compound  interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought
a  Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink  beer?

Woman:
No…

Man:
So….. where’s YOUR fucking Ferrari?

A contribution from Olemand

by

50 år senare

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS OF YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL……YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE!


MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .

’YES, YES I DID. I’M A MORGANNER! ’HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

’WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?’ I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?

’YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!’ I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THE UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ARSED,

GREY HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

BASTARD ASKED..


’WHAT DIDYOU TEACH?’

A nice contribution from Paul in Provence