2 JOKES

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HIKING

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, ”God, please give me the strength to cross the river.”

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, ”God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.”

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, ”God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross river.”

Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

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Den nya ålderstrappan

uppdaterad 190513

ÅLDERSTRAPPOR

Kaianders  Ålderstrappa lånad från Ny Teknik 2015 Teckningen gjord av Kai -Anders Sempler vetenskapsjournalist och illustratör

kaiander1

På gamla målningar och vävnader från förr ser ålderstrappen ut så här och trappan är högst när man är 50 år


Idag är nog översta steget  70 år och minst  75 om man gympar regelbundet som tex i Anders pågar.

ÅLDERSTRAPPA  UPPÅT
Tecknaren Berglin hade en ålderstrappa julafton 2009 i  Svenska Dagbladet    – notera att trappan här går stadigt uppåt och kommentarerna särskilt  från  sjuåringen  och 57 åringen som tar priset eller…?!

JULKLAPPSÖPPNING 2009 ( clic ger större bild)


bidrag till bloggsidan via broder Guillaume

LÄNK TILL FLER ÅLDERSTRAPPOR

Mera ålderstrappor med Syndernas/Dygdernas trappa och en ner och upp trappa.

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Adam took a bite of the apple …

A woman went through a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s car.  Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said;  ”Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.  This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
The man replied,” I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, ”And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn’t break.  Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.  The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, ”Aren’t you having any?”
She replies, ”Nah. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”
Another nice Provencecontribution from Paul
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The hotelbill

An old lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 85th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel. 

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $450. She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high.  It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $450 for just an overnight stay!  I didn’t even have breakfast.”

The clerk told her that $450 is the ’standard rate,’ so she insisted on speaking to the manager.

The manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, informed the woman:
”This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”

”But I didn’t use them,” she said.
”Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
”We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” manager said.

”But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.

”Well, we have them, and you could have,” the manager replied.

No matter what amenity the manager mentioned, she replied,

”But I didn’t use it!” and the manager countered with his standard response.

After several minutes discussion, with the manager unmoved, she decided to pay; she wrote a check and gave it to him.

The manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
”But madam, this check is for only $50.”

”That’s correct. I charged you $400 for sleeping with me,” she replied.

”But I didn’t!” exclaimed the very surprised manager.
”Well, too bad. I was here and you could have.”

Don’t mess with Senior Citizens!

A nice contribution from Paul in Provence