2 JOKES

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Queen & Dolly go to heaven ¤¤¤

Queen  Elizabeth and   Dolly  Parton die  on the same day and they both  go  before  an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to  Heaven.


Unfortunately,  there’s only one space left that  day ~
so  the Angel must decide which of  them gets  in.


The  Angel asks Dolly if there’s some  particular reason  why he should  go to Heaven.
Dolly  takes off her top and  says ’Look  at these they’re  the most perfect  breasts God  ever created and  I’m sure it will please God  to be  able to see them every  day for  for eternity.’


The  Angel thanks  Dolly and  asks Her  Majesty the same Question. The Queen  takes a bottle of Perrier out  of her purse drinks it down.


Then ~  wees into a toilet and pulls the  lever.


The  Angel says  ’OK  your Majesty  you may go  in.’


Dolly  is outraged and  asks ’What  was that all about?
I  show you two of  God’s own perfect  creations and  you turn me  down. She  wees into a toilet  and she gets in!
Would  you explain that to  me?’


’Sorry,  Dolly,’ says the  Angel ~ ’but  even in Heaven


A  Royal Flush   Beats  a Pair  ~ No  Matter How Big They Are. 

a nice contribution from Paul in Provence

 

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Management training lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ’I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ’Who was that?’

’It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

’Great,’ the husband says, ’did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

To learn from lesson 1 in business terms:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

 

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IRISH STORY ¤¤¤

TWO IRISH WOMEN IN A BAR

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, ’I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.’

The other woman responds proudly, ’Yes, I sure am!’

The first one says, ’So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?’

The other woman answers, ’I’m from Dublin, I am.’

The first one responds, ’So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?’

The other woman says, ’A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived onWarbury Street in the old central part of town.’

The first one says, ’Faith and begorrah it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?’

The other woman answers, ’Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.’

The first one gets really excited and says, ’And so did I! Tell me, what  year did you graduate?’

The other woman answers, ’Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.’

The first woman exclaims, ’The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight!  Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!’

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, ’It’s going to be a long night tonight.’

Michael asks, ’Why do you say that, Brian?’

Brian answers, ’The Murphy twins are drunk again!’

 From Grady in Morganton NC