2 JOKES

by

Do not always trust what you see…¤¤¤

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a woman

about to jump off a bridge… so they stopped and parked their Harleys.

Their leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, ”What are
you doing?”

”I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.

While he didn’t want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an
opportunity either, so he asked her… ”Well, before you jump, why
don’t you give me a kiss?”

So she does….

And it was a long, deep, lingering, spine-tingling kiss.

After she’s finished, the biker leader says, ”Wow! That was the best
kiss I’ve ever had!

That’s a real talent you are wasting.  You could be famous.  Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?”

”My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl…”

A nice contribution from Paul in Provence

by

The Pirate

A pirate walked into a bar, and the publican said,

”Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”

”What do you mean?” said the pirate, ”I feel fine.”

”What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”

”Well,” said the pirate, ”We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”

The publican replied, ”Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”

The pirate explained, ”We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really.”

”What about that eye patch?”

”Oh,” said the pirate, ”One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye.”

”You’re kidding,” said the publican. ”You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird shit.”

”I know, but it was my first day with the hook.”

A contribution from Paul in Provence