Etikettarkiv: golfhistoria

Golf and age

Published first time 20110502

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,

‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’

I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.’

‘Well,’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?’

‘Who said my Dad’s dead?’

The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?’

‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the old Italian golfer. ‘In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s Italian and he’s a golfer, too.’

‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?’

‘Who said my grandpa’s dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’

‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’

‘No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old man want to get married?’

‘Who said he wanted to?’

A contribution from Paul ( the golfer)  from Provence

Golfhistoria ¤¤¤

Några kvinnor spelade golf. På ett av hålen gjorde en av damerna en ruskig slice och sände
bollen in i en grupp av män som stod och väntade på sin tur att slå på ett annat hål.
Kvinnan sprang genast dit för att be om ursäkt och för att se hur det hade gått.
När hon kom fram låg en av männen på marken med händerna mellan benen och vred
sig i plågor.
Får jag se på det där, frågade kvinnan.
Nej! Det …går snart…över, stönade mannen.
Sluta tramsa nu, sa kvinnan, jag är sjuksköterska och vet precis hur man tar
hand om den här sortens skador.
Kvinnan rullade över mannen på rygg och förde hans armar åt sidorna.
Därefter öppnade hon försiktigt hans byxor och stack ner handen och började massera.
Efter en stund frågade hon:
Känns det lite bättre nu?
Ja, det känns jättebra, sa mannen, men jag har fortfarande väldigt ont i tummen.

Från Paul i Provence

A golfjoke

Ed and Harriet met while on a cruise, and Ed fell head over heels in love with her.

On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue their relationship.

’It’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut,’ Ed said to his lady friend. ’I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that’s a problem, you’d better say so now.

’Harriet responded, ’If we’re being honest with each other, here it goes… I’m a hooker.’

’I see,’ Ed replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he added, ’You know, it’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off.’

A nice contribution from Paul in Provence