Etikettarkiv: heaven

When you go to heaven ¤¤¤



The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, ’When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?’ 

Suzy raised her hand and said, ’I think it’s your hands.’ 

’Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?’ 
Suzy replied: ’Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.’ 

’What a wonderful answer!’, the nun said. 

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, ’Sister, I think it’s your feet.’ 

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. ’Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?’ 

Johnny said: ’Well, I walked past Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night.

Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying: 

’Oh God! I’m coming!’ 
If Dad hadn’t pinned her down, I reckon we’d have lost her.” 

The nun had to leave the room.

A contribution from Bent in Roskilde

Do not step on the duck ¤¤¤

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. 

When they get there, St. Peter says, 

'We only have one rule here in heaven: 
Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, 
There are ducks all over the place. 

It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, 
And although they try their best to avoid them, 
The first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. 
St. Peter chains them together and says, 

'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to 
Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' 

The next day, 
The second woman steps accidentally on a duck 
And along comes St. Peter, 
Who doesn't miss a thing with him is another extremely ugly man. 
He chains them together 
With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained 
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, 
But  one day St.Peter comes up to her 
With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on 
.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, 
'I wonder what I did to deserve being 
Chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 
'I don't know about you, 
But I stepped on a Duck.

A contribution from Anders in Viken