joke

by

Jet Fuel ¤¤¤

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked
as  aircraft  mechanics in Melbourne, Australia ..

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the
hangar with nothing to do.

Dave said, ’Man, I wish we had something to drink!’

Jim  says, ’Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel  and  get   a   buzz.

You  wanna try it?’

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane  booze  and get completely smashed.

The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he  feels.

In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.

Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It’s Jim.  Jim says, ’Hey, how do you feel  this  morning?’

Dave says, ’I feel great, how about you?’
Jim says, ’I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?’

Dave says, ’No that jet fuel is great stuff — no hangover,  nothing.  We  ought to do this more often.’

’ Yeah, well there’s just one  thing.’

’What’s  that?’

’Have you farted yet?’

’No.’

’Well,  DON’T – cause I’m in New  Zealand   ’

From Anders in Viken

by

The Wise golfer

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, ”If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

”No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

”Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.

”Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. ”I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”

”Well,” said the man, ”I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. ”Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing this?”

The man replied, ”That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf.”

A contribution from Paul in Provence