This explains why You forward jokes.

 

A man and his dog were walking along a road.

The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

 When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

 He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, ’Excuse me, where are we?’

’This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered.

’Wow! Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked.

 ’Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.

’ The man gestured, and the gate began to open. ’Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ’come in, too?’ the traveler asked.

’I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.

There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book….

’Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ’Do you have any water?’

’Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.’

 ’How about my friend here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog.

’There should be a bowl by the pump,’ said the man.

 They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

 When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

 ’What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked. ’This is Heaven,’ he answered.

’Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveler said. ’The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’

’Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.’

’Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’

 ’No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.

Soooo. Now you see, sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how…. you forward stuff.

A ’forward’ lets you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for.

So, next time if you get a ’forward’, don’t think that you’ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are welcome at my water bowl anytime !!


A nice contribution from my friend Sven / Anders pågar

Antarctica pics

I follow as usual the ”front end” in video technology and  have installed better software to convert  powerpoint presentations into flashvideo and as a result  slideshows with higher quality – Video now also played in similar player as Youtube

 Tip 1 Clic on symbol Pause a while ( left on the player)  if you need time to read text or if you get get frequent stops ”due to loading” and then start video again-

Tip 2 View in full screen mode  (When High Quality video) -clic on symbol to the right on the player

Övning i danska ll ¤¤¤

HVORDAN SKAL MAN PRIORITERE?
Det siges at det er  sundt at spise et æble hver dag, og en banan pga. kalcium. Man skal også spise en appelsin pga. C-vitamin! Og man er nødt til at drikke en kop grøn te (uden sukker – for at undgå diabetes) for at mindske kolesterol i kroppen!
 
Man skal drikke  2 liter vand hver dag og bagefter  tisse lige så meget, hvilket fordobler den tid, man hidtil har tilbragt på toilettet. Man skal også spise en tallerken yoghurt hver dag for at få gode bakterier i maven, hvilket ingen præcis ved hvad er, men du BLIR NØDT til at ha mindst en million af den slags i maven,  ellers går det galt!
Du ska også ha et glas rødvin for at undgå hjerteinfarkt, og så et glas hvidvin for at beskytte dit nervesystem! Og en øl  (jeg husker ikke helt, hvad det gør godt for!) Hvis du drikker disse på én gang, kan du gå ud som et lys, men det betyder ikke så meget, du vil ikke engang  lægge mærke til det.

Man skal også spise nødder, bønner og ærter hver dag. En hel masse nødder, bønner og ærter. Du skal spise 4 til 6 måltider om dagen, lette måltider, men glem ikke at tygge hver mundfuldmindst 36 gange. Alene til det skal der bruger 5 timer!

Og så en ting til: efter hvert måltid skal du børste tænder. Børst dine tænder efter æblet, yoghurten, bananen, nødderne, bønnerne og ærterne. Det skal du så længe du har tænder, og glem ikke tandtråden, tandkødsmassage og mundskyllevæske. Mens du nu alligevel er i gang med dette, kan du jo gøre rent på badeværelset, og måske installere cd-spiller eller tv derude, for med den væskeindtagelse og tandbørstning, kommer du til at tilbringe en del tid på badeværelset.
Man skal ha mindst 8 timers søvn i døgnet og  arbejde 8 timer per dag, plus de 5 timer der skal bruges til spisning, det blir 21 timer. Så er der 3 timer tilbage, under forudsætning af at der ikke ertrafik-kø når du kører frem og tilbage til arbejde.

Ifølge statikken ser folk TV 3 timer per dag. Men det kan ikke længere lade sig gøre, for man skal også gå en tur på mindst en halv time hver dag (et godt råd: efter 15 minutters gang, vend om, ellers varer turen en hel time).

Du skal osse nå at være sammen med dine venner, for de er som planter, de skal passes jævnligt for at bestå.

Oven i alt andet skal du holde dig opdateret, dvs. læse mindst to morgen- og et par middagsaviser, for at kunne have enkritisk holdning til livet.

Du skal osse dyrke sex hver dag, men uden det blir rutinemæssigt. Du skal vare innovativ, kreativ og hver gang forføre  din partner på en ny måde. Dette kræver tid, og så har vi endda ikke omtalt tantrisk sex.

Du skal desuden  have tid til din familie, nå atvaske gulv,  vaske op, vaske tøj, for ikke at nævne alt det der skal nås, hvis du har børn eller husdyr.

Når alt dette lægges sammen er der behov for mindst 29 timer.

Den eneste løsning er at gøre flere ting samtidigt! – multitasking!
F.eks.. tage brusebad i koldt vand og holde munden åben, så får du dine 2 liter vand per dag. Medens du går ud af badeværelset med tandbørsten i munden, kan du ha sex med din partner, som samtidigt ser fjernsyn og læser avis, mens du vasker gulv.
Du har stadig en hånd fri, med den kan du ta telefonen og ringe til venner og familie.  Efter det vil du få
brug for et glas vin…

Skulle du så få 2 minutter tilovers, så send dette  budskab videre til dine venner (som man skal passe jævnligt), mens du spiser æblet, hvilket som sagt er meget gavnligt.

– nu er jeg nødt til at slutte, for mellem æblet, yoghurten og øllen, den første liter vand og mit tredje måltid i dag (inkl. nødder/bønner/ærter) ved jeg ikke hvad jeg ellers mangler, men jeg ved, jeg er nødt til at gå på toilettet NU.

Jeg sparer formentlig nogle minutter, hvis jeg børster tænder samtidigt!

Från halvdansken Oleman