1 English stuff

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Memory ¤¤¤

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ’Now don’t get mad at me…..I know we’ve been friends for a long time……but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.’ Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, ’How soon do you need to know?’

A contribution  from Paul in Provence

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When you go to heaven ¤¤¤

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?

Heaven

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, ’When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?’ 

Suzy raised her hand and said, ’I think it’s your hands.’ 

’Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?’ 
Suzy replied: ’Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.’ 

’What a wonderful answer!’, the nun said. 

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, ’Sister, I think it’s your feet.’ 

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. ’Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?’ 

Johnny said: ’Well, I walked past Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night.

Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying: 

’Oh God! I’m coming!’ 
If Dad hadn’t pinned her down, I reckon we’d have lost her.” 

The nun had to leave the room.

A contribution from Bent in Roskilde