A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. ”I used some 
 horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.”

 When did you use this awful language?” asks the elder.

 Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was 
 going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging 
 over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only 
 about 100 yards.

 ”Is that when you swore?”

 ”No, Mother,” says the nun. ”After that, a squirrel ran out of the 
 bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.”

 
 ”Is THAT when you swore?” asked the Mother Superior again.

 ”Well, no.” says the nun. ”You see, as the squirrel was running, an 
 eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began
to fly away!”

 ”Is THAT when you swore?” asked the amazed elder nun.

 ”No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it 
 flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.”

 ”Did you swear THEN?” asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

 ”No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap
rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole.”

 The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and 
 said, ”You missed the fucking putt, didn’t you?”

a contribution from Paul in Provence