1 English stuff
Traded beer
He traded a beer for the dog!
And he got the better end of that deal!
Check out this very cool dog!
A contribution from Lawrence ( not from Arabia )
REDNECK VACATION
REDNECK VACATION
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, ”Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation…
Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different…
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go…
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii…
I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant…
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas ,and Earlene got pregnant again…
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”
Luther asks Billy Bob,
”So, what you gonna do this year that’s different ?”
Billy Bob says, ”This year I’m taking Earlene with me.”
A Lawrence (not from Arabia) contribution
The Lie-Clock
A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, ’What are all those clocks?’
St. Peter answered, ’Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.’
’ Oh,’ said the man, ’whose clock is that?’
’ That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.’
’Incredible,’ said the man.
’And whose clock is that one?’
St. Peter responded, ’That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.’
’Where’s President Obama’s clock?’ asked the man.
’ Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.’
A nice contribution from Carlton in NC