1 English stuff

by

Another talking parrot this one cheap in price … ¤¤¤

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

”Why  so little?” she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and  said,
”Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a  house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar  stuff.”

The  woman thought about this, but decided   she  had to have the bird anyway.   She took it home and hung the  bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say  something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and  said,
”New house, new madam.”

The  woman was a bit shocked at the implication,  but  then thought ”that’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage  daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and  said,   ”New  house, new madam, new girls.”

The girls and the woman were a bit  offended but then began to laugh about the situation  considering  how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the  woman’s husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and  said,

 

”Hi Keith.”  

Another international  contribution from TJ

by

Buffalo Theory ¤¤¤

One night at pub, Cliff  explained the” Buffalo Theory”to
his buddy Norm when suggesting a new round…

”Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this.

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.

And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members! .

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.

But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain
a faster and more efficient machine!

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Another nice TordJöran contribution imported from over there

by

Famous people

Clic on pic to enlarge –

Now    take a look at this picture….. 

Painted by    Chinese Artists, Dai Dudu, Li Tiezi and Zhang An,  

oil on canvas,    2006.

This painting is truly remarkable.

Even more amazing though, is that the canvas has  

been computerized.

When you click on the link below, a much bigger  

version of the computerized painting appears.

Run your cursor over the people.

The programme tells you who they are – every single  

one of them.

BUT   (click          on a person)   and  you obtain the individual’s life history.

This is fascinating… Can keep you busy for hours!

First Clic on pic to enlarge –

Chinese Artists Dai Dudu, Li Tiezi, and Zhang An, 2006, oil on canvas

A contribution from TordJöran Linkoping