woman

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Never argue with awoman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, ”Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”

”Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, ”Isn’t that obvious?”)
”You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.
”I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”
”Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
”If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says
the woman.
”But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.
”That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

A Contribution from Gunilla D S59

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Getting even

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl: ”Do you mind if I sit beside you?”
The girl replied in a loud voice:
”I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said with a laugh:
”I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded in a loud voice:
”$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? . . . THAT’S TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her: ”I study law, and I know how to screw people.”

A contribution from Paul in Provence

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Jesus had a sence of humour ¤¤¤

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother.

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He didn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father’s business.

2. He lived at home until he was 33.

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But also 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands.

2. He had wine with His meals.

3. He used olive oil.

But not finished yet 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature.

2. He ate a lot of fish.

3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all – 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food. 

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.